Bob and Charlyne's Blog - from the heart of a restored marriage

Bob & Charlyne's Blog - from the heart of a restored marriage

June 3, 2007

Last Friday night, our youngest grandson, Ryan, six years old, was having a "sleep over" with us. Bob had used Ryan's name in a footnote on that day's Charlyne Cares, and Bob was reading the anecdote to Ryan. Our grandson wanted to know what else we had written about him, so Bob showed Ryan how to search the Rejoice web site for his name. Ryan decided that we should pay him for every Ryan story. A "royalty" of 25 cents each was agreed upon.

Later that evening, Ryan had a report to share with Bob about the antics of another grandchild, so he started with, "Now Grandpa, what I am about to say is not for the Internet."

If a six year old can realize that some items are strictly family business, and not to be shared with the world, should not we be able to discern things about our spouse that are "not for the Internet?" The process of marriage restoration (and it is a process and not an event), involves a lot of back and forth between the couple, most of which should remain between the couple and the Lord.

If a prodigal spouse, attempting to find their way home, knew everything they were saying was being posted on the Internet, don't you suppose they might say, like Ryan did, "Now honey, what I am about to say is not for the Internet."

Bob and I read far too many identifiable and intimate details of prodigal behavior posted online, often with their spouse's name. Prodigal spouse know how to Google, and when a wayward man or woman finds their story detailed, the results harm the work toward restoration that God has begun. Bob has said often that if I had shared with the world all that he shared with me, he probably would not be home today.

Many people know my "Zip the lip" saying. Today I am going to add a second word of advice for every stander: "Fold the fingers." Whatever the details are, tell them to God in prayer, not to the world on the Internet. Far more marriages would be restored if we standers could learn to "Zip and Fold."

God Bless,

Charlyne Steinkamp

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