"And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their and, and everlasting joy will be theirs." Isaiah 61:6-7
Charlyne and I spent last Saturday morning at the superstore with about half of our grandchildren. What a grand time we had being grandparents.
The economy has taken quite a toll on our three kids and their families. There have been job changes and major budget reductions at all three homes. The purpose of our Saturday outing was to buy new shoes for four children as their Valentine's gift. In years past, Charlyne would have purchased candy, balloons and other red and white items that would have been forgotten before the end of February.
As tough as things may be right now, our grandchildren are learning lessons that will be theirs for a lifetime. In years past, an outing like Saturday would have brought about a lot of begging for a new toy that someone just had to have that day. Even if our grandkids are almost perfect, as you know, those denials of toys often brings about sulking. On Saturday, no one asked for toys, but we did receive a lot of thank you's for new shoes.
We did make one impulse purchase. Charlyne spotted a board game we have been hearing about recently. It first came out about 50 years ago, but we never owned the game. Saturday afternoon, instead of playing with a new toy, one of our grandsons and Charlyne mastered how to play that game, and what a great time they had. We saw a level of maturity and insight in that youngster that we had never seen before. He played the game with the intensity of a businessman giving 100% to building a business. Even greater, he and his grandmother had a ball, one-on-one.
Late Saturday evening, after our young guest had gone home, Charlyne and I replayed the day. We also talked about how tight the pennies were at times for both sets of our parents when we were near our grandson's age. She and I both have many memories of times when money was short, yet we still knew we were loved at home.
We are very blessed to have our three adult children, their spouses and children all living within ten miles of where we still live in the home where our kids were raised. Please remember, all three were victims of our divorce. Even though two are now thirty something and our oldest just turned 40, it is not uncommon to have any of the three call and ask, "Do you still have.. ?" and go on to describe some insignificant childhood photo or memento they want to show their spouse.
We also receive those "Do you remember when... ?" comments, describing some obscure event from decades ago. Some of those inquiries include the phrase "...when dad was gone." My wife could write a book on parenting during divorce from the excellent job she did with our kids while balancing a career, a family and an empty purse, all with a prodigal husband out doing his sinful thing.
You may feel you are facing a double-edged sword, with both family and financial problems. Can you realize what a great opportunity you have right now to help your children build memories that they will sit with their mates and talk about half a century from now? Money may be tight and your mate may be absent, but you, with your Lord God guiding you, can still influence young lives in a mighty way.
"No" is not always a bad word even when it is necessary because of family circumstances. That word, when used with love, can help to build character, to mold and form the young lives that God has entrusted to you. "No" to going to the movies can be replaced by a special family night at home, even if only one parent is present. "No" to eating out can be replaced by a special meal with your kids helping in its preparation. "No" to new toys can be replaced by something even more valuable; by your time. You can help to keep your children from falling apart, even if your marriage has.
I cannot resists offering a word of advice. Give your children "No" answers without blaming your prodigal. Please do not build walls between your kids and your prodigal by explaining every "No" with, "...because your (Mom/Dad) has our money."
My wife and I learned a valuable lesson on Saturday. We pray that society will realize that kids really want us and not the things that peer pressure seems to force upon them. I suspect that with God's help you can find a board game or a craft activity, right in your home that would thrill your kids, if you are involved in it with them.
Regardless of how bad the money and marriage problems are, please do not allow the pressure to override the needs of your kids. No, not the physical needs but the need for your love and attention. Even when the family cash register is empty, the family love register can be overflowing, with only one parent making deposits. My wife and I pray that you will.
By the way, after your prodigal is touched by God and returns, they will be forever grateful to you for keeping things together at home during these troubled days. Regardless of what your spouse has done, holding them blameless in the sight of your children is a major step in building the bridge that will carry your beloved home.
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
