Mark 10 Nine


Are you happily married and looking for tips on maintaining a God-honoring marriage? This weekly devotional will give you encouragement for your marriage.

Are You a Selfish Spouse?

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Ephesians 5:21 

A friend complained about her husband’s refusal to help with any household chores. They both worked full-time and had kids, but he felt he didn’t have to help around the house for some reason.

Do you ever fall into the trap of being a selfish spouse? Your selfishness may be more subtle than what I described above. You may think your time relaxing and decompressing after work is just “me” time, but is it selfishness? Do you think about ways to serve your spouse or focus on how you don’t feel your needs are being met?

As you consider selfishness, ask the Lord to expose any areas of selfishness in your marriage. Here are some things to do when you want to be an unselfish spouse.

Be a good listener. I have mentioned before how valuable open communication is in a marriage. Taking time each week to sit down and get honest with your spouse can help prevent minor issues from becoming big problems. Ask your spouse if there are things you do that are selfish. Then, be quiet. Listen and absorb the response. It may sting a bit, but allow the Lord to use your spouse’s words to expose any areas of selfishness.

Be willing to change. Are you more concerned with your well-being than your spouse? Do you seek your comfort first? Do you find yourself demanding that things be done your way? You may be a selfish spouse. The Lord wants us to love others above ourselves. If your spouse has shared areas where you are being selfish, be willing to make some changes to improve. 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  Philippians 2:3-4 

Be humble. There is something so beautiful about humility with our spouse. It is the act of putting someone else’s needs before our own, of zipping our lips long enough to hear what our spouse is observing. It takes humility. Ask the Lord to clothe you in humility every day so the selfish, sinful person can be crucified with Christ. Marriage takes significant doses of humility.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Colossians 3:12

When we strive to serve each other, our relationships strengthen as we become more like Christ in our marriages.

God bless,

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