Are You Envious of Your Spouse?

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.  Proverbs 23:17-18 

How are you doing amid your marriage problems? Are you living a peaceful life and acting Christ-like during the storm of your separation or divorce? Are you trying to walk in humility and sowing peace wherever you go? Are you envious of your spouse or someone else in their life? Let’s look at what the Bible says about envy in James:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.  James 3:13-17 

Envy is defined in the American College Dictionary as “A feeling of discontentment or feeling ill will at seeing another’s superiority, advantages or success; desire for some advantage possessed by another; and an object of envious feeling.” 

Let me share a warning with you. Do not envy your spouse regardless of how happy or successful they appear to be right now. This Psalm talks about envy.

Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from common human burdens; they are not plagued by human ills. Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.  Psalm 73:1-6 

Examine your own heart. Are you walking in humility, being considerate in all things, showing mercy, and knowing that being a peacemaker will reap righteousness? That sounds great, but in reality, are you upset, angry, jealous, and harboring bitter envy toward your spouse?

God knows your heart, and He understands. I hope you will have a conversation with the Lord and confess your pain and struggles. Allow Him to touch and remove all that junk out of your heart. He did it for me, and He can do it for you. Oh yes, you may be tested, and your emotions may rise up, but call on the Holy Spirit to calm your nerves and quiet your tongue as He gives you His divine wisdom and instructions on how to deal with each problem as it happens.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”  Jeremiah 17:9-10 

From their callous hearts comes iniquity; their evil imaginations have no limits. They scoff, and speak with malice; with arrogance they threaten oppression. Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.  Psalm 73:7-9 

As part of your devotions, please read all of Psalm 73. Look up all the scriptures that contain the word envy in your Bible Concordance. My prayer is that you will completely trust in the Lord every day. Choose to walk in faith with a pure heart, expecting the Lord to be your Defender and allowing Him to handle the things that worry you.

Do not envy the wicked, do not desire their company; for their hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble.  Proverbs 24:1-2 

Remember that the Lord wants the best for you, your husband or wife, and your children. Wait on the Lord’s perfect timing to touch and transform your spouse’s heart and life.

God bless,