Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:1-3
Are you tired of waiting? Are you tired of seeing no evidence that anything is happening on the other side of your mountain? It is worth waiting for God’s answers to prayer. God is faithful.
Today I am going to share a letter that Bob wrote that could have been written by your own beloved husband or wife. I know that there are prodigals around the world who want to come home for Christmas but do not see a way to escape their own mess of circumstances. They need you to pray and fast for them.
It is not uncommon to see a person who once was the prodigal now waiting for the Holy Spirit to soften their spouse’s heart as they gave up and moved on. I hurt when I hear from people ready to quit because they are tired of waiting.
The enemy is turning up the heat on your spiritual walk with the Lord. Are you making time to spend time with the Lord? Are you being faithful in praying for your husband or wife? What if your spouse had cancer and was living at home? Would you find time to pray? Of course, you would. What is the difference? Your spouse has spiritual cancer of their soul.
Beware of the enemy’s tricks and schemes that are coming against you. Remember, the enemy can appear as an angel of light, but he tempts you into a counterfeit relationship.
I hope that this letter from Bob, who was a prodigal, will open your spiritual eyes and ears and soften your heart to continue to pray for your beloved prodigal this month.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
How in the world did I wind up out here? I just wanted to have some innocent fun, and things got out of hand. It took more and more fun to keep me happy until the guilt was more than I could handle, so I left. Maybe I was not as mad as you thought, but I knew I did not deserve to be married to you. I thought once I was away from you that the guilt would go away, but it hasn’t. I only feel more guilt about leaving. The world says divorce is OK and that I am on my way to becoming a “swinging single,” but so far, it looks like I am on the way to being a sad single.
Not to cry, but things are rough for me also right now. Do you think it is pleasant to be uprooted from your entire life and replanted in a land where guilt and sin, and shame prevail? It is not. I know, it was my decision, but I had to do it. Besides, it was almost as if it really wasn’t me doing those things. I wish I did not even know the word “divorce.”
I do not mean those things I say, such as, “I never loved you.” We both know that is just not true, but saying a lot of stuff is just part of this whole mess. You are not a bad person. In fact, you are a pretty neat person. That must be why I think about you about a hundred times a day (but have never told anyone that part before). I am trying so hard to look happy, but I am slowly dying inside.
“Then why don’t you come home?” You must be wondering. I just can’t, even though I think about that often. What would others think? That I am a baby and needed my mother (or father)? Besides, I do not know how to break it off with you-know-who, who does not know that I am even writing you. If I came home, I would have a hard time putting all this behind me. Would you be patient enough to let me heal? I am so afraid that if I ever came home (but I am never coming home), I would do something, and you would want me gone again. It will (I mean it would, sorry) take time and a lot of work from both of us. Did I tell you I dreamed about you and me praying together? It was only a dream.
The best I have ever felt in a long time is when I heard that you were praying for me. My prayers right now only go as high as the ceiling, so I do not pray, but I know God is still there. He did not go away just because I turned my back on Him, but I was ashamed to seek Him after all that I did.
What does “standing” mean? You need to get on with your life. I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago. I am never going to come home but would like for us to be friends. I will call you to talk about our being friends – just friends. No, I can’t because you-know-who forbids me to call. I do not know why there is such a strange pull on my life from that corner.
I could come over and talk to you. That would feel good. I need to lie to get out, so that would make you like the other person, so I can’t do that either. I feel like a caged animal most of the time. Would you want me home just as I am, confused and all? Probably not, after all, that I have done to us.
I think this needs to be delivered in person, maybe left at your (our) door. I will bring my things with me, just in case I happen to see you and you say yes to my coming home. I can get out of this other mess later, if you are willing.
Know what? My heart beats fast, and I feel lighter when I plan how I could come home. It is like the weight is off of me. This may be another of many false starts, but I am practicing coming home today. Sure hope you are ready to receive me, warts and all. From someone who really has never stopped loving you.