Charlyne Cares


Are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? A daily devotional that will offer encouragement from God’s Word as you stand for the restoration of your marriage.

Check That Mailbox

Each week we share guest devotionals. The views expressed below are those of the writer and may not reflect the views of Rejoice Marriage Ministries or the Steinkamps.

Has the Lord placed a devotional on your heart that you would like to share with other standers?

I will be honest; it has been quite discouraging to not see a new Men’s Devotional all these months. I feel like God has been telling me that He wanted me to write the next one. I have avoided doing this for some time now as I have never written a devotional before. I honestly had no idea what to write.

I do not claim to be a great writer by any means. My profession is, in fact, a teacher but I am more accustomed to standing up and speaking to others rather than writing. I am going to try my best and I pray that I am able to encourage at least one person who reads this to keep standing. There is so much I could write as I have been fighting for my family for a very long time.

Although I read the daily devotionals posted on RMM every day, most of them are written by woman. I deeply appreciate and value the time that everyone takes to encourage people standing and fighting for their marriages and their families.

My eyes definitely get wider though when I know what I am reading has been written by a husband fighting for their prodigal wife to come home to their family. All too often, society would just as well assume that any breakdown in a marriage stems from the husband’s mistakes, addictions, or infidelity. Men are a more silent group in standing for their marriages, but I know that I am not alone in this fight.

God has revealed so much to me in terms of my role in the breakdown of my marriage. Many years ago, God helped me understand that Satan is a snake. A snake does not have any hands, arms, legs, or feet. When I should have been reinforcing the foundation of my marriage with love and affection, I instead chipped away at the wall allowing the smallest of cracks to develop. Satan needed me to create that small crack so that he could slither in.

What did I do to create those cracks? Small acts like impatience, harsh words, and not valuing my wife’s opinions or feelings. In short, I did not show my wife the love that Jesus commanded me to show her as He loved the church. I had opportunities to strengthen our marriage, but instead I chose pride and my own feelings instead.

God revealed to me many years ago that I stand now (for the right reasons) because I stood then (for the wrong reasons).

I know the pain that many of you (men and women) are experiencing. The world states that I am divorced, but I love my wife deeply. I am still standing for her to come to repentance and for our family to be whole again. I am standing for my marriage to be miraculously and wonderfully better than it ever was. As a natural problem solver, I have tried to run ahead of God many times, only to see my efforts made things worse. Now I strive daily to allow God to fight this battle for me as I try to prepare myself for a miracle.

I often feel like Charlie Brown in the Valentine’s Day special. Each and every day he visited that mailbox hoping for a Valentine. Although he was discouraged when the mailbox was empty, he had the hopeful optimism that tomorrow was a new day and another opportunity to receive that Valentine. I pray that we all have Charlie Brown’s never-ending optimism. We don’t know what tomorrow holds, so let’s be sure that we are not holding onto bitterness or a lack of forgiveness for our spouses.

Over the years, my wife has tried to bury me and all the wonderful moments we shared together. God revealed to me in a vision that the dirt she is using to attempt to bury me is in fact that dirt beneath her own feet. She is digging a hole beneath her own feet that is dark and void of light.

The most amazing aspect of this vision is that I see Jesus at the top of that hole. With every foot my wife goes deeper into that hole, Jesus’ rope of mercy, grace, and forgiveness extends that much deeper.

Every day I pray that my wife will find the courage to grab that rope and hold on. Jesus is not asking our prodigals to climb out of their holes. He is just asking them to hold on. To hold on and keep their eyes fixed on Him. At one point, I felt my wife was doing exactly that. Unfortunately, she looked down and saw just how far she was from the bottom of the hole. She let go of the rope, and so I continue to stand.

Although there are many scriptures that I hold onto, there is one scripture that I have had placed in my heart early on in my stand. Galatians 6:9.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up or quitGalatians 6:9 (MSG)

To whoever reads this, please do not give up standing. I am praying that your prodigal spouse or child will grab that rope and hold on. You need a miracle, as do I.

Please wake up every morning and check that mailbox. If it is empty, don’t allow yourself to be discouraged. Just know that you are one day closer to restoration simply because you did not quit.

Aaron in Pennsylvania

Rejoice Marriage Ministries

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Josh
Josh
27 days ago

Great message Aaron.
I am a longer stander also. I have submitted 3 devotions in 2024 and RMM posted them all. I was so happy because I too am not a writer. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. Great job writing this devotional. Thank you for the encouragement!!!

Lynn in the UK
Lynn in the UK
27 days ago

Well-written, Aaron; surely this is a big encouragement to men, as you intend. It has encouraged me too, we are all on the same side.
Thank you, please keep writing.
We pray with you that your wife will find courage very soon to grab that rope, hold on, and come home.

Ruth Smith
Ruth Smith
27 days ago

I wish my husband felt like this. He is also a writer and incredibly brilliant. I repented and he refused to accept
Ruth and Karl
I loved this writing. But I’m close to quitting

Lynne
Lynne
23 days ago
Reply to  Ruth Smith

Please don’t quit. I pray God’s joy as your strength. May He turn your weakness into a great strength. May His grace shower down on you and your family bringing a revival of love and acceptance. In Jesus name I ask. Abba of family be glorified. Amen

LMS in Va
LMS in Va
8 days ago
Reply to  Ruth Smith

Ruth. Please don’t give up. I, too, am standing, and have been for a while. I know it can be discouraging. One thing that helped me a lot was to read the book “From Prison to Praise” by Merlin Carothers. It is a quick and easy read and will teach, encourage and inspire you to see every apparent set back as a means of God’s working on your behalf. It will show you how to praise and thank God no matter what the situation or circumstance. I am praising God now for the full restoration of your marriage. He’s got this!

Fran
Fran
27 days ago

Thank you, Aaron! Proverbs 11:25 “He who waters, will himself be watered.” May you receive the encouragement you have shared with others!

Lisa
Lisa
27 days ago

Thank you Aaron.. it was such an encouragement to me. Praying for you and your spouse..

Jennifer
Jennifer
27 days ago

Thank you so much! It was so encouraging. Praying for your wife and family.

Danielle
Danielle
27 days ago

May the Lord continue to strengthen you as you wait for your miracle, Aaron. And may your dear wife come home quickly and suddenly!

Aaron
Aaron
26 days ago

I want to thank you all for your prayers and encouragement! I am truly and deeply humbled. I really do not have anyone in my personal life that supports or encourages my stand for my marriage and family. All of your kind words are deeply appreciated. You are all in my prayers as we stand in the gap for our prodigals to be filled with Godly sorrow. I am so honored to have provided some encouragement to each and every one of you.

Charles Spoelstra
Charles Spoelstra
26 days ago
Reply to  Aaron

Aaron, this was so encouraging to me. I’m standing for my wife and marriage too.

I love the image of Jesus waiting for her to grab the rope. I see Him climbing down and being there in the pit with my wife, loving her right where she is, because that’s what the good shepherd does when he goes after his lost sheep.

You’ve inspired me and given me hope with your words. Perhaps I’ll begin to write a devotional and share it here.

Take courage my friend, Jesus is with you every step of this journey.

Charles

Dea
Dea
26 days ago

Thank you so much for heavenly words from God through you, faithful warrior brother ! WE ARE so blessed and in agreement , we never give up !!! WE ARE TRUE SOLDIER IN THE FRONT LINE !!! WE BELIEVE AND WE SPEAK IT, IF GOD SAID IT HE WILL DO IT !

Nancy B.
Nancy B.
25 days ago

What a beautiful letter! God placed the right words in you to give us encouragement. I keep looking in the mailbox. Our day will come when the mailbox will be full with God’s mercy on our marriages.

Daniel
Daniel
23 days ago

Great job, Aaron.
I, too, was a husband stander in what seemed to be an impossible situation. We were admired by many friends and family as the gold standard of a marriage. My wife left and declared she was never coming back. God promised me there would be no divorce. To my surprise, there was a divorce in man’s court. I was devastated. In the middle of the night, God asked me to study divorce from all angles. I started with the Word. I learned then that divorce was only a separation of assets, but the spirit cannot be separated in a covenant. It gave me the encouragement I needed to continue being that loving husband I had always been. Today, we have reunited in marriage but celebrate our original wedding anniversary.
Stay strong, men! God is truly faithful.
And yes, RMM has my testimony!

Get Charlyne’s Free Teaching:

The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.