Today’s devotional is written by Lori Steinkamp Lassen. She is our only daughter, who has been married to her husband, Scott for 27 years. Lori is the mother of four children, and has worked with the ministry for many years. May her devotional deepen your spiritual walk with the Lord. – Charlyne
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Job 8:21
When you were young and dreamed of your happily ever after, it probably didn’t include hardships like job loss, illness, moving across the country, or any other difficulties in your life. Life can be challenging.
We had a conversation for our Fight for Your Marriage podcast recently with Victor and Heidi. Years ago, they were facing addiction in their marriage and trying to formulate a plan for healing and recovery. During our discussion, Heidi said she tried to “handle” Victor’s addiction. Her wording was profound.
As a couple, it can be very easy to slip into the role of managers when hardship happens. We have a situation, and we need to manage it. In our marriage, there have been seasons when one of our children was experiencing difficulties, and it felt like every conversation my husband and I would have would be around that struggle. It can be easy to lose sight of who you are as a couple when that happens.
As your parents’ age, you may find that you have a greater responsibility to care for their needs. That added responsibility can be another example of a situation that forces a couple into management roles instead of relationship roles.
There will always be situations that arise and require more significant amounts of emotional and physical resources. When those seasons of life hit, you will need to be more intentional about pursuing your marriage relationship so you don’t get stuck in the role of managers. Before long, you could feel more like co-workers instead of husband and wife.
One way to be intentional in your marriage is by having fun! Do you remember what it felt like to have fun? Do you remember how fun it was to explore a new city or laugh at a movie until you had tears streaming down your face?
Your marriage may not be fun right now. Heartache, hurt, and even unforgiveness may overshadow the fun. You may require counseling individually or as a couple. The examples I am giving may not be relevant to extreme cases, but there is a reason the Bible speaks about laughter. It causes joy!
Will you commit to finding one way over the next week to have fun with your spouse? Let me give you some examples in case you are using your lack of creativity to avoid my challenge.
- Stream a show in your living room from a Christian comedian.
- Get outside! Find a place nearby to hike or take a long walk together. Commit to table any discussions about complicated topics and just enjoy being together.
- Go on a double date. You may be an introvert that dreads interacting socially with others, but give it a try, and it may just fuel your soul.
Don’t be afraid to laugh and have fun! In our house, we laugh a lot. We laugh at and with each other – it completely derails the mood when one of us is being silly and lighthearted and the other is super serious. Ask the Lord to give you a heart full of joy, and let yourself be willing to be silly.
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:13