Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19
Do you compare your marriage to other marriages? I did. Sometimes I would find myself thinking another couple I knew must never argue or get annoyed with each other.
I am going to give you groundbreaking truth right now. Are you ready for this?
That couple you think has it all together – they don’t! Not even close!
When you put two sinners together in a marriage, there will be issues, but those issues don’t have to define your lives.
We had our close friends over, and during our time together, I needed to grab something from the garage. It was dark and I flipped the switch, but no light came on. The lights in our house are a hot topic. I said a “hot” topic, not a “bright” topic.
We have a couple of areas where we need to get an electrician out to do some work, but the idea of spending money on something we may be able to fix ourselves has meant we have lived with lights in two rooms that often choose when they want to work. As I walked in the blackness towards the cabinet, I wasn’t concerned. I have been in the dark garage before, and I knew where to find the item I was after, even if the lights were not working.
I opened the cabinet, reached my hand in, and then heard a thud. Something fell, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I returned to my guests and decided to find the stray item the next day when the light was working again.
My hubby beat me to the garage the next day and was stunned to find a mess. What I knocked out of the cabinet was the brand-new box of laundry detergent. There was powder everywhere. I will say, however, that the garage has never smelled so fresh. Scott had no idea what had transpired the night before, so he was confused.
We were both hurrying off to work, so the powdery mess was going to have to wait. Yesterday, one of my kids asked, “Are we ever going to clean up that mess?”
The answer is yes. I will clean up the mess, but I appreciate the reminder it is giving in the meantime. You see, the on again off again light has frustrated me. I would nag my husband wondering when we could call an electrician and get it fixed. Not only did the light fail me, but then I made a huge mess because I was trying to work in the darkness.
We can’t work in the dark when we are building our marriages. We have to see what we are doing. Continually looking at someone else’s marriage doesn’t leave much room to work on our own marriages.
When you are looking at another person’s marriage, you may as well be walking into my dark garage. You don’t see the truth of their lives. You don’t know how they handle things when there is a spill, or the lights won’t work for the fifth day in a row.
I have the best marriage! Seriously…the best! Do you know why it is the best? It’s not just because my hubby knows my favorite food or the temperature I like the house when we go to bed. It isn’t because he loves to do the dishes. It is because it is my marriage! Twenty-five years ago, I stood beside Scott and made a covenant.
For better or worse.
Richer or poorer.
In sickness and in health.
We have been through all of those things. Because my marriage is what I am focused on, I see two people who continually strive to live in submission and sacrifice to each other as we strive to make our marriage more like Christ. If I always see my marriage as the best marriage, then I will keep doing the hard work that has to happen in a marriage.
There will be days in your marriage where the feelings aren’t there. You will flip the light switch, and nothing is going to happen. You will walk into a room and find a mess your wife made and left behind. You are going to see areas where your spouse has failed you.
Jonathan Pokluda says, “The mission of marriage is sanctification through service.”
We have to serve one another. As I am serving my husband, I am showcasing the Savior.
You committed to your spouse. Turn the lights on and live out that commitment by shifting your focus to your marriage and watch how the Lord blesses your home.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14God Bless,