Encouragement for the Stander

As a long-standing follower of this life-saving ministry, I felt almost compelled to share words of encouragement to help somebody else. This is our duty as Christians, to love and encourage one another as it is written throughout the scripture. It is written for our guidance and instruction to be placed in practical application through faith in our lives and, for us as standers, into our marriage circumstances, no matter how difficult or insurmountable they may seem at the present time.

I consider myself to be in a long stand with my husband. We have been separated many years, with the first year of our separation when I became pregnant with another man’s child. This devasted both my husband and many others in our family, and since that time there has been little communication regarding our marriage or the daughter we share. My husband has been living with the OW for several years now and our daughter has lived with them almost full-time the last few years. Within this time l have had tremendous struggles with my health, and last year I lost my mother who was my greatest supporter in the matter. I said all that to attest to the fact that, despite it all, God gets the glory and that what the devil meant for evil God has turned around for my good.

God has been a true healer of all my sicknesses and conditions because I have prayed, fasted, and lived a clean and holy life before my husband and my daughters and the Lord gives good gifts to His children. He has provided supernaturally in my finances for all these years, time and time again, because I am a giver and He honors our sacrifice in the form of favor!

Standers, keep your hands and hearts pure and clean because God is watching, your children are watching and your spouse IS WATCHING, no matter what it seems like. They are watching your behavior and testing and questioning their own decisions based upon what they see coming from you.

Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.  Psalms 24:3-4 (KJV) 

Make no mistake about it, this is a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:12), not a fight or tug of war WITH your spouse, but FOR your spouse in the spirit realm, for their very soul. They may or may not sense that, but we have the mind of Christ so we can.

For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.  1 Corinthians 2:16 (KJV) 

Unto this we are called standers, to bear a cross that we never asked for but God saw fit to entrust us with anyway. Hallelujah! Be strong. Be encouraged. Be alert and be aware of the numerous temptations that the enemy will put in your face. Resist him steadfast in the faith and HE WILL FLEE from you. I know!

RMM does not much discuss remaining consecrated sexually while in the stand because it is an automatic gift of grace that a true stander rests in (Romans 5:2). It is an understood grace and it is not meant to stress, vex, or deprive us, but to protect and prepare us.

Now, looking back, I can see many areas of deficiency in both myself and my husband, when at first I blamed him solely. The enemy used many cracks in our marriage to enter in mainly from my chronic depression from childhood issues with abuse and much sexual immorality while my husband struggled at a young age to uphold a family with much internal hurt and loss. My daughter has found the Lord even while in transition between both homes and she is involved in youth worship. Standers, this battle is generational and it can be and is already won.

Cry out to the Lord, look over your life and just recall what He’s done and who He’s been to you and your family. Then give Him praise daily. Constantly walk in praise and walls will have to fall. I’m seeing it now in my life every time I see my daughter and my spouse. No, he is not home, but I now know the prize is not my husband. The prize is the transforming work that is manifesting in and throughout my family and in the entire earth, and I know my role in it! I won today! We shall live and not die and declare the work of our God and this too shall pass.

PRAISE! Praise with vigor and purpose. In that worship is the peace; in that praise are the answers. Draw nigh unto Him and He’ll draw nigh unto you. Purify your hearts from being double minded and don’t rest your decision to stand on contingencies or the up and down actions of your spouse. Just love them and pray for them for they know not what they are doing to you, the kids, or themselves. Here is where compassion comes from us because we were there once before ourselves. God gives us more grace when we are humble and able to accept these truths. This is possible for us all.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.  James 4:7-10 (KJV)

Pamela in Texas

Rejoice Marriage Ministries