I was put into a terrible situation by my husband which involved the other woman. Phone calls degrading me. I managed to keep my mouth shut in the middle of embarrassment, rejection, and pain. Praying for grace just to not die or say/do anything that would cause dishonor to my God. The world would have cheered me on… stating that I had every right to retaliate. That I had every right to belittle and get even. But the Word of God says we are not of this world and our battle is not with flesh and blood. Our battle is spiritual and so we have to fight with the Word of God in prayer.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
I wish I could tell you that I handled the situation with love and compassion. I managed to get through the night of horrible hurt. But it was the next day, after thinking and rethinking of the pain and embarrassment and after being further hurt by my husband, that I let pride stir up in me. I began to look for her phone number, an email address, anything, any way to get a hold of her and give her a piece of my mind. I am sure the enemy of my soul whispered in my ears and in my pride I listened. My self-righteous sprit began to well up. I prayed, “God help me…if You don’t stop me, I am going to act badly.” He did stop me. I could not find any form of contact.
And then I received another phone call from my husband in the middle of looking her up on social media. As he was apologizing to me, I had sent her a message that clearly did not show the love of Jesus. There were no cuss words or lies, but it was motived by pride and that made it wrong. Jesus managed to stay silent and God fought for him. Pride told me, “You are his wife…who does she think she is…. you have the right to fight for your family…are you going to keep allowing people to treat you badly…” and I fell for it. In that moment while my husband was apologizing, I felt a whisper of correction in my spirit.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5
I knew I did wrong and God whispered ‘Pride.’ I fell to my knees in repentance. I felt such shame and regret and I heard another voice. A voice that was condemning me. It told me, “You have not changed, you still have to have the last word, you blew it, you’re a self-righteous sinner, good for nothing.” I mourned and cried out in pain yet again, and in that moment my Father told me, “My grace in sufficient.” God’s grace is sufficient, His love and correction is gentle and done with mercy. I know I will have to deal with the consequences of my behavior and I/we are held up to a higher standard. But God is with me and He has the final say.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
For whom the Lord loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12 (AMPC)
Some days I feel so hurt, it feels like my heart is in my throat and I am choking on it. I get through my days from one prayer to another, pleading for the strength to make Him proud and He reminds me He is already proud because I am His and He is mine. I am loved; He sings over me. And I am changing little by little, grace upon grace.
O my God, I trust, lean on, rely on, and am confident in You. Let me not be put to shame or [my hope in You] be disappointed; let not my enemies triumph over me. Psalm 25:2 (AMPC)
So my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, breath, pray, be kind to yourself, be willing to obey the Holy Spirit and accept God’s correction. In God’s world no one fails; we just retest until we get it right and He is always there to help. DO NOT let the enemy beat you up; tell him about God’s grace. Tell him you are loved and the proof is in the nail prints.
God bless,
Patty in New Mexico
💙
Beautiful reminder that we are His!