It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Proverbs 20:3
It can be hard to control your tongue when you feel you are always on the defensive. You may feel verbally attacked by your spouse, and in response, you retaliate with your words.
I hear from people who write that they have blown it by losing their temper and having a huge fight. If that should happen, repent and ask for forgiveness of your part immediately. Ask the Lord to erase all the words that you should not have said.
Then trust the Lord, praise Him, thank Him for controlling your life, and learn from your mistakes. Let me share a scripture that you can personalize and pray as a prayer for yourself or loved ones:
Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. Proverbs 8:6-8
If strife or fighting with words is a problem in your family, ask the Holy Spirit to change you first and then start praying for your spouse or any other family member who may need to learn to control their words who are out to hurt or cut down other loved ones.
Lord, mold me and make me into a person who controls my own words and actions. May I not judge others but learn to speak and react as my Lord would. Thank You, Lord, for changing me, my spouse’s heart, and our lives and resurrecting our marriage. Amen.
Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? James 3:5-11 (NKJV)
The enemy loves to cause strife. It may be a simple conversation that turns ugly over finances, responsibilities, commitments, children, or other circumstances you face. Learn the enemy’s tricks and schemes and learn to hold your tongue or, as I say, “zip your lips.” Ask the Holy Spirit to give you self-control. Ask the Holy Spirit to be your Advocate and Defender when you talk to someone upset or angry. Ask the Lord to provide you with wisdom on how to answer.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18
Pray that your entire family will learn to control their speech and reactions. Pray that our prodigals, who are often running from the Lord, will guard their tongue.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sins. Psalm 51:2
Jesus Christ is the solution to controlling our mouth, and he can help us respond perfectly, even in the most challenging situation.
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. Proverbs 21:23