Charlyne Cares

Are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? A daily devotional that will offer encouragement from God’s Word as you stand for the restoration of your marriage.

Head Standing or Heart Standing?

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.  Psalm 111:10 

Every man or woman praying for the restoration of their marriage falls into one of two groups. Either they are heart standing, or they are standing on their head. Here’s the diagnostic question that divides the two groups: Are you standing because God has shown you His will for your marriage, or are you standing because some person or program has told you marriages can be restored?

Heart standing requires that you sell out to your Lord God. You have totally relinquished your mate to the Creator. Yes, you pray for their salvation and their restoration, the only safety net between you and failure is Jesus, and you confess that He never fails. Head standing means you always have a “Plan B,” just in case God isn’t great enough to do what He has promised. You are like a child learning to swim but who remains in water shallow enough for them to stand up – just in case this thing called swimming does not work out.

Heart standers say, “I will stand for my mate until I am in the rocking chair.” Head standing leaves room for keeping someone of the opposite sex in mind, just in case God fails you.

Heart standing looks at eternity. Head standing sets a deadline.

Heart standing means you are looking up to God. Head standing means you are looking at your circumstances.

Heart standing means living a consistent life all the time. Head standing means you allow yourself and your ethics to change, depending on the circumstances.

Heart standing knows there is a 100 percent probability of restoration. Head standing means the probability of restoration is whatever percentage someone has told you, minus your doubt.

Heart standing is about looking outside yourself, to the problems of others, and seeing how you can help. Head standing is focusing on yourself, your problems, and man-generated solutions.

Heart standing is about knowing that God does speak and taking direction from Him. Head standing is about taking surveys and counsel from other people.

Heart standing is having a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus, allowing Him to be your mate for a season. Head standing is loneliness and attempting to fill the void in your life in human ways.

Heart standing means surrounding yourself with the things of Christ, from waking up to the time you fall asleep. Head standing is about attempting anything that will lessen the pain.

Heart standing allows you to be yourself around others. Head standing means you must be on guard, talking standing in one situation, and singleness in another.

Heart standing is rejoicing over every restored marriage, confident that yours might be next! Head standing is jealousy over the restored marriages of others.

Heart standing is running to the prayer closet during a crisis, to tell God and listen for His advice. Head standing is running to the computer or telephone during a crisis, to tell others and listen for their advice.

Heart standing is covering your prodigal mate’s nakedness in conversation. Head standing is slamming your mate at every opportunity, in an attempt to prove your own innocence.

Heart standing is hungering to learn more about the solid truths of God. Head standing means running here and there, listening to anyone who is saying what you want to hear.

Heart standers are often thought to be foolish by family, and friends (but so were Noah, Abraham, and many others who were used by God). Head standers are often considered wise, but their wisdom does not endure when the big storms come.

During the early summer of 1987, I began to take notice of the wife that I had abandoned. The number one factor that brought me home was that Charlyne’s walk matched her talk, all the time and in every way. Time and time again, I would discover an “ah-ha” and think I had caught the woman I knew to be a “stander” in an inconsistency. Each time, without exception, I would end up looking foolish, and Charlyne would be proven innocent.

I came home on July 7, 1987, to a wife who was standing 100 percent with her heart. The only change in her since that day is that she grows more precious in my sight, and I suspect in the eyes of God as well.

Charlyne and I both desire to see your marriage healed and restored. If you have been standing on your head, we pray that today you will make the changes to become a heart stander. Prodigals do come home, to the glory of God, and to people who are standing with all their heart.

So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today–to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul–then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil.  Deuteronomy 11:13-14

Because He lives,

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1 month ago

Thank you for Bob’s perspective! May we always be sold out to Jesus.

Your love never fails
Nothing can separate
Even if I run away
Your love never fails

1 month ago

Wow It is supernatural blessed us as standers . Thank you!!!

1 month ago

Ever so timely! Sometimes I am 100% standing but my tender heart hurts easily, and I will – for a moment – want OUT and free to please myself.
I come to my senses when I realize that it is God that I want first and foremost. He has been my constant since day one and my trust in him always.
I cry out to Him, and He responds. No one else can do that!

1 month ago

To be honest, I’ve been heart standing most of the past almost 14 years. I know I heard from the Lord. But I definitely have times after this many years, of doubting and wondering if God has some other plan for me and I’m not trying to find out what it is.

Get Charlyne’s Free Teaching:

The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.