“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9
You probably drive down the road and pay little attention to the guardrails set up for your protection. Fortunately, my car has never bounced off a guardrail, but I know if I were to need a correcting hand while driving down the highway, that guardrail is ready to serve. Guardrails exist before we need them. Guardrails in a marriage are just as necessary as those on the roads.
What mistakes could have been prevented if you had a guardrail in place ahead of time?
Do you ever hear about people who have fallen into sin in their marriage and wonder, “How did they ever let that happen?” It is micro-decisions that lead to sin. Things like confiding in someone other than your spouse or spending extra time getting ready each morning to impress someone at work. The enemy is subtle and can use things we think are innocent to destroy a family.
I want to see divorce eradicated! Enough is enough. The enemy has stolen too much from our families. Let’s start making decisions and putting plans in place to stop the cycle of divorce.
The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Proverbs 27:12
Your marriage may not be where you want it to be today, but right now, you can make decisions and set up guardrails to protect your family. Don’t give the enemy a foothold in your marriage.
Shift your focus. We talked about the most popular car paint colors on the way to church one day. My family decided it must be white. From that moment on, it seemed like every car that drove past us was white. I’m not sure our experiment was scientifically correct, but we saw them because we were looking for white cars.
In your marriage, where is your focus? Are you looking for how your spouse blesses you, or are you looking for dirty clothes on the floor and bad attitudes? Shift your focus.
I leave my husband little notes where he can find them randomly. I may shove one deep in his dresser or his car console. They are one or two sentences of affirmation. When I am writing these notes, I am looking for the good in my husband.
What are some practical ways you can shift your focus in your marriage?
Have a guardrail date – Plan a time to go out with your spouse and discuss the guardrails you should have in your marriage. Maybe you don’t have any, and you need to put some in place. What can you do together to protect your family?
Here are some guardrail topics you could discuss:
- Entertainment – How can you and your spouse stay pure in your entertainment choices? According to a study done by Barna, 56% of American divorces involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites. Set up controls on your devices to protect your marriage.
- Work Relationships – Are there guardrails that need to be put in place to protect your marriage concerning your career? For example, I know of one man who travels for work often. He will never ask a coworker of the opposite sex to dine with him alone. He either eats alone or in a group.
- Intentionality in your relationship – You are either growing together in your marriage or growing apart. You can plan to do activities that will help strengthen your relationship. Things like doing a couple’s devotion together, setting aside time for date night, prioritizing intimacy, and eating together at a table. Sitting down every night and talking to one another with the TV off can help strengthen your relationship muscles.
Sit down with your spouse and review the guardrails that you have in your marriage. Be intentional about areas that the enemy could use for destruction.
Let’s put a stop to divorce.