I Sometimes Wonder

The views expressed below are those of the writer and may not reflect the views of Rejoice Marriage Ministries or the Steinkamps.

Men, has the Lord placed a devotional on your heart that you would like to share with other standers?

I sometimes wonder why bad things happen to good people. I sometimes wonder why there is so much evil in the world. I sometimes wonder why children have cancer or life-threatening health problems. I sometimes wonder why there is so much hunger in the world. I sometimes wonder why COVID-19 happened. I sometimes wonder why God would allow such a thing.

Other times, I wonder why I am going through what I am going through. I sometimes wonder why God, if He hates sin, is allowing my spouse to be living that life of sin. I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake marrying my spouse. I sometimes wonder if there was someone else for me out there. I sometimes wonder if I would have married someone else, would I be in this situation? Would I be happy? Would I be blessed? While my spouse was attending church and preaching there too, she was a pretty new believer. Did I make a mistake? OR even yet, I sometimes wonder why God didn’t just speak to us and tell us, “Hey, your marriage is not going in the right direction. You guys are leaving Me out of your marriage. Please. Please. Please. Return to Me! Both of you!” The thing is, He did speak to us, we just didn’t listen. That is why I know that we need God because of everything happening around the world!

I know many of you have thought the same things as myself. It’s okay. What is not okay is to give in and give up! Move on? Definitely not! Jesus, speaking to the Pharisees:

But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”  Mark 10: 5-9 (NLT)

It’s easy to look at the world and think that God is not aware of all the horrible things going on. It’s easy to question God or even doubt His existence. It really is, right? There are millions of people who already don’t believe in God anyway. It is easy to give up on God. It is easy to go to the world. It is easy to move on with someone else before or after our divorce. After all, God wants us to be happy right? It is easy to watch our marriages fall apart, piece by piece. It is easy to be another statistic of divorce in the church. It is easy to simply move on, our kids can just get used to this, right? It happens to others. It happens to our family members and they are happy. We can start all over and be happy and God will bless us, right? OF COURSE NOT! It is NOT easy. It is not His will. Believe it or not, God has a plan, a purpose, a calling for each of our families. God did from the beginning. This didn’t catch God by surprise. He knew it would happen if we continued being lukewarm in our relationship with Him. He tried to warn us. We were so busy with life. We were so busy with our jobs. We were so busy with our kids. We were so busy that we left God out of our marriages. However, fear not!

Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.  I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”  Luke 5: 31-32 (NLT)

Jesus came to call us. Yes, we are not perfect. Yes, we are sinners. Yes, we need to repent. God called us to stand for our marriages. To stand with Him for our future generations. God called us to stand for eternity. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I was the one who strayed (well this time) and left my spouse to do all that she is doing. It hit me! There is a reason why God called US, you and me, to stand for our marriages. He could have called our spouses. In my case, God simply answered my questions. If I would have been the one to stray, our family would have been destroyed. Our worship team would have been destroyed (since I am the leader). Our church, which my dad is the pastor of, would have been destroyed. Not only that, my family, which around 75 percent are divorced, would have been devastated. Just another person in the family who couldn’t break the generational curse. Additionally, I would have probably hurt my spouse so much and so deeply that she would have never recovered. Only God knows why He chose us!

During quarantine because of COVID-19, my parents and my brother have gotten a lot closer. The week that I have my child is such a blessing. The week that I don’t have my child is my week to deeply pray, listen to worship music and write devotionals. No time wasted! Because of COVID-19, families are being restored. Relationships are being restored between family members. Prodigals are coming home. There is a reason and purpose for everything going on around the world! The reason, only God knows!

One day our prodigals will obey the Lord. One day God will speak to them so loudly that they will give up their rebellion and just turn to Him. One day God will reward us, not only with our marriages, but with our future generations. I sometimes wonder if, I mean I know, God sees the end result! Hearts are softened. Eyes are opened. The veil comes off. Prodigals do come home. Prodigals WILL come home, in His time. We are almost home.

Jesse in Arizona

 

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