Charlyne Cares

Are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? A daily devotional that will offer encouragement from God’s Word as you stand for the restoration of your marriage.

Should I Tell Others I Am Standing For My Marriage?

Today’s message is from Bob, who was a prodigal who returned home and was remarried to me for an additional 23 years before the Lord took him home to Heaven. Bob wrote 19 books from the prodigal’s perspective for more than two decades after our divorce and remarriage. – Charlyne

The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him. Luke 8:38-39

I read an article about the underground church that was an eye-opener. Many of us, starting with yours truly, take our religious freedom for granted. We can decide when and where we will worship. We can decide what Bible we will read, and when we will do our reading. It is up to us individually if we want to place symbols of faith on our vehicles, our home, and our clothing. We can worship and pray without fear of reprisal.

It is frightening to read of the extremes people in some parts of the world must go to for self-preservation when they assemble with other believers. May God forgive us for taking our religious freedoms so lightly.

Can you imagine the reaction of someone from the underground church when first introduced to open Christianity the way that you and I know our faith? If given the choice, no one would want to return to the underground church.

Do you know there is one aspect of Christian life in the free world that a few people prefer to keep underground by choice? A small number of men and women who are praying for marriage restoration, and trusting God for His results, want to keep it a secret from their family, their spouse, and their circle of friends.

Being an underground stander raises two questions:

  • If your prodigal spouse does not know you are standing, how will they know they are forgiven and welcomed back at home?
  • If the people around you do not know you are standing, how much glory will God receive after He performs the miracle of marriage restoration? Your testimony will be diluted to people who do not know what you are praying for .

My wife came out of an underground stand many years ago with her spiritual guns blazing, and has never looked back at being a silent and secret stander. If you have ever been in a restaurant with Charlyne you know what I mean. Her brown Bible will be open on the table, and it does not matter who overhears when she is talking about her Lord and marriages. Even the unexpected presence of a server at the table has no bearing on the length of her prayer.

When we were divorced, Charlyne told me she was standing, but, even greater, she demonstrated to me that she was standing. Some people seem to have a misconception of what this is all about, so let me tell you what my wife did. Above all else, she did not beat me over the head with her faith or her stand. She did make me curious about the changes I witnessed in her life.

There came a point when the Lord directed Charlyne to call me and ask for forgiveness for her part in our marriage failure. During that same call, she briefly explained her stand, and added something like, “I’ll be sitting at home waiting for you until I’m eighty and in a rocking chair, but if you wait until then, you’ll miss the best part!” If you have never been there, you cannot imagine what comfort that brings to a confused prodigal spouse; knowing the person you once married, but are now futilely attempting to forget, is not going to ever forget you.

How did Charlyne demonstrate her stand? Above all else, I could no longer push her buttons. The things that used to send her up a wall now seemed not to touch her. It was as if the emotional keyboard on which I once typed strife-causing statements had suddenly locked up. Regardless of what I did, and trust me I tried, she would not react in the wrong way.

Any request I made of Charlyne was granted with a smile. “You want to change visitation days? Sure, no problem. Could I bring them to you?” “The check will be late? I understand.” “Do not even be concerned about what you said to me. I know you were stressed. You’re forgiven.” “You want the family pictures? I know you could use them, so let’s divide them up and you take whatever you want.”

Even in matters involving the other woman, my “ex-wife’s” feathers could not be ruffled, after she surrendered her life and marriage to her Lord Jesus. She then allowed the Holy Spirit to direct her life, so it was not necessary to seek man’s opinion for her decisions.

Charlyne did no begging, but her Spirit-led actions were always right on time. The birthday card with, “PS-I’m praying for you,” would arrive on a difficult day. The little “Love ya” written discreetly in my wife’s handwriting and sent with some forwarded mail always did something inside me. I began to wonder about this woman who was losing weight, and now always smiled, but never seemed to get upset.

Our Ministry goal is for every person who turns to us for help to mature in their personal relationship with the Lord Jesus. We want to see you carrying out God’s revealed will for your specific circumstances, just as He has directed you. For years Charlyne has taught standers, “Don’t take polls.” Now we add to that statement, “…and don’t listen to opinions from people.” You need to be listening to God for your every decision.

Should you tell your spouse about your stand? I do not know, nor does any other human, but God does. Ask Him for the right answer, be available to Him, and He will direct you.

People are praying around the world that the underground church will be able to come out into the open, to the glory of God. My wife and I are also praying that every underground stander will also come out in the open, so when your marriage is restored, all the glory goes to God!

“‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'” Jeremiah 33:3

Because He lives,
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5 months ago

Thank you! Skipping a meal fast for breakthroughs in marriages. Jesus breakthrough for us!

5 months ago

Amen! Hallelujah our God is able

Get Charlyne’s Free Teaching:

The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.