May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 1 Thessalonians 3:12
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I have been bombarded with emails and texts from companies encouraging me to sign up for their love challenge. Every day, they will send me a message with a clever way to show my husband how much he means to me. These are all great ideas, and I honestly have signed up for several of them, but I recently realized that I have been too busy to really commit to fully doing any one of them consistently.
I’m not exactly sure where it happened in society, but our busyness became some sort of badge of honor somewhere along the way. People would try to outdo each other by saying how swamped they were. Busyness seems to equate to importance in society.
There is nothing wrong with being busy, but are we busy doing the right things?
Is your marriage a priority, or do you spend more time thinking about work than how to show love to your spouse? Have you consumed yourself doing other good things, like serving in ministry, but the people at home are suffering because of your lack of attention?
It isn’t fair to say we don’t have time to have date nights with our spouse if we binge-watch the last four seasons of a TV show in one weekend.
It can be so easy to have our marriages take the back burner to life. Our marriage relationship can feel comfortable, so we don’t give it as much effort because we rest on the idea that it will be self-sustaining. Guess what? Like anything else that doesn’t receive nurture, it will die if you don’t invest in making it thrive and grow.
When was the last time you sat down with your spouse and asked them what their dreams were for the future?
When was the last time you tried a new restaurant with your spouse?
When was the last time you asked your spouse what struggles they were facing?
This week I want to challenge you to assess your marriage. Are you investing time in the areas that matter most, or have you become too busy with less important things? If your marriage fails, your family fails. If your family fails, it impacts more than just two people. Generations can be affected, friends and distant relatives will be affected, coworkers will be affected. Your marriage matters. Will you examine it and see if you have become too busy to invest in your relationship?
How can you connect through conversation with your spouse each day? Maybe your daily talks consist of greetings, planning dinner, and discussing who will pick up the kids. Examine your conversations together. How can you go deeper when you spend time talking? What dreams does your spouse have? What pressures are they worried about in the coming week?
Make time together a priority. Are there things in your life you need to step away from so you can create some margin in your marriage? Have you over-committed to other activities, people, or even ministries, and the one relationship not getting your time is your marriage? Plan a date night. Schedule a babysitter and go for a long drive together. My husband and I have the best dates when we get in the car and drive. It is an uninterrupted time to talk and connect. How can you be intentional with your time regularly?
Pray Together. You may realize that your priorities are out of alignment. The most important thing you can do is pray with your spouse and seek the Lord together on which things may need to be eliminated to make your marriage a priority. Is there sin in your life that is stealing your time? Repent and ask the Lord to adjust your priorities.
For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:18-20
I want to hear from you. Head over to our website and comment below on other ways to connect with your spouse.