Mark 10 Nine

Are you happily married and looking for tips on maintaining a God-honoring marriage? This weekly devotional will give you encouragement for your marriage.

Is Pornography a Problem in Your Marriage?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16 

Many marriages are falling apart because of a pornography addiction. One spouse may be secretly addicted, or both spouses may be engaged in looking at these addicting images in the hopes of spicing up their marriage. Both are wrong. I want to give you some hope if a pornography addiction is ruining your marriage.

Pornography is material used to create fantasies about sexual activity.  That could include still images, films, movies, or even books. It is essential first to recognize that pornography is sinful and will cause harm. It seems like society is pushing the envelope on what is appropriate. Things we would never have thought suitable for network television are now gracing the screens of our TVs.

Pornography is addictive. It causes a person to escape and feel like they have left reality. The only problem is that your issues are still waiting for you when your run with pornography is over. 1Studies have been done showing how viewing pornography creates new neural pathways. You don’t just view something once and move on with life. It has literally been hardwired into your brain.

My mom and I recently sat down with Joshua Broome for an interview on the Fight for Your Marriage Podcast. At one point, Joshua was the most sought-after male adult film star. He had a mother and grandmother who wouldn’t stop praying for him. Their prayers were effective, and Joshua met Jesus and started a life of healing through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Joshua explained the damage of pornography from a different viewpoint. As a person who worked in this industry, he knew that everyone participating wasn’t necessarily there because of their free will. They were often actors who felt trapped in a job. It is common to see underage minors forced into the adult film industry.

So what can you do if pornography is an issue in your marriage?

Admit the problem – Those images you view of people engaging in sexual activity are pornographic. Help will never come if you aren’t honest about the inappropriateness of the things you are reading, watching, or participating in. It would help if you were open with your spouse about your struggles. Confess your addiction to the Lord. Ask Him to guide you as the journey to healing begins.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.  Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:5-8 

Set up accountability – With your spouse, develop a plan to have accountability. Does the gas station magazine rack cause you to stumble? Then, how can you avoid going into the gas station? Is your phone a constant threat to your purity? You can get away with changing phones or setting up an app that would provide a safeguard. You need to remove access as much as possible.

Find a person of the same sex who can be an additional layer of accountability with you. Give that person permission to ask the hard questions, and then love yourself and your spouse enough to be honest when those questions are asked.

Understand the consequences – Romans 8:1 tell us there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. What a promise! God will forgive you. There will be a time of healing that needs to happen with your spouse. Trust will need to be rebuilt. Understand that there will need to be a commitment to change, repentance, honesty, and tangible evidence of change. It won’t be an easy process, and it won’t happen overnight, but true healing can come for both of you. 

Check out episodes 134 and 135 of the Fight for Your Marriage Podcast with Joshua Broome for more insight on how God can restore and redeem any situation.

God bless,


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