Today’s devotional is written by Lori Steinkamp Lassen. She is our only daughter, who has been married to her husband, Scott for 27 years. Lori is the mother of four children, and has worked with the ministry for many years. May her devotional deepen your spiritual walk with the Lord. – Charlyne
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! Psalm 90:17 (ESV)
When you are walking through marriage restoration, it is essential to realize that married life isn’t going to be like it was in the past. You and your spouse have likely spent time apart, possibly even running households independently of each other. Things have changed. Each of you has changed.
When you come back together, it isn’t necessarily time to slip back into the old patterns. This is a time to renew your relationship, so it is a great time to start making some new memories.
Create New Habits
Did you used to go to bed at different times? Go to bed together, unwind, and talk about your day. If one of you is truly a night owl, get out of bed after your spouse has gone to sleep. Are you an early riser? Great! Get up early and have some quiet time, then take a cup of coffee in later to your mate. Don’t let things that used to be a frustration, like different sleep cycles, be a hindrance.
I am a creature of habit. If I find a restaurant I like or food I like, I never stray. My husband and I have been trying to add some excitement and try new restaurants. Suggest to your spouse that you discover new restaurants and date night ideas. Don’t resort to the places you used to enjoy together. Your restored marriage is being remolded, so change up your date night. Many cities have Facebook groups that have excellent recommendations for restaurants in your area. Do some research and plan a night out at a new place.
Do you avoid doing fun things on the weekend because that is when the household chores used to be done? Time to change up that habit. Plan to conquer some of that list after work one evening and leave Saturday open to explore a park near your home or a museum you have never visited.
Be Spontaneous
Remember me? The creature of habit? I am also very scheduled. If I didn’t have something planned out ahead of time, I am guilty of seeing it as an intrusion instead of an opportunity to do something spontaneous and fun.
We need to stop being so serious. What can you do to add some spontaneity to your marriage? Find something fun to explore in your state and make it a memorable day trip. Pack a picnic and enjoy some quiet time together or trade babysitting with a friend and make a last-minute reservation at a hotel for the night.
Be Willing to Try Something New
The goal is to make some new memories, so don’t be so stuck in the past that you are unwilling to try new things. That may be as simple as a restaurant or as involved as finding a new way to handle conflict. Which, by the way, I highly suggest. The old way you handled conflict resulted in one spouse saying, “I’m done with this marriage.” Find new ways to communicate. Find new ways to express frustration. Find new ways to show gratitude to your spouse. Find new ways to communicate love.
New memories are ready to be made! Don’t cling so tightly to the past that you miss the chance to create some beautiful memories with your precious spouse.
God bless,
