Restored and Redeemed

Has your marriage been restored? Restored & Redeemed is a devotional for those in a restored marriage.

Marriage Restoration Is a Daily Journey

A few months after our divorce, I began to hear bits and pieces about Charlyne’s “stand” for marriage restoration. She had become the most peaceful person I had ever known. It was impossible for me to ruffle her feathers. I used to pull one of my old stunts on her, just to try for an emotional reaction. The adverse reaction never came.

My ex-wife (or so I thought) had a never-ending smile. After attending all those meetings and listening to teachings, I figured she must have joined a cult. They had programmed her to be a smiler, even when her home had fallen apart.

No, she had not joined a cult. In fact, she was far from cults. She was developing a personal relationship with her Lord Jesus Christ that was far greater than anything I (or the enemy) could throw at her.

When God began working in my life, first gently nudging me to make the wrongs right for my family by returning home, I began to really understand the stand for our marriage she had taken. As the battle for my soul and for our home intensified, I began to appreciate her stand.

Charlyne had developed an ever-increasing unconditional love for me. This came into focus for me when I realized that’s exactly the way our Lord Jesus Christ loves each of us. She, just like the Lord, may have been disappointed in my actions, but continued to love me.

How could a wife possibly love a middle-aged overweight, balding, abusive, and unfaithful husband? She couldn’t, but her Lord could love through her. If you have ever asked how your mate could love you, that’s the key. They are showing you the love that our Lord has for you.

I used to think that Charlyne must be a very strong person. By this time, I was dumping on her some heavy-duty pig swill from out in the far country. It wasn’t until after I came home that I learned, and continue to learn, just how fragile and weak my wife is. That super strength I had been observing was not her own, but instead the strength of Jesus. As I dumped on her, she quietly took everything to the Lord in prayer.

My friend, I have shared some details of my life so that you might realize how fortunate you and I are to have spouses who would not give up on either of us, even though the rest of the world was telling them to do so.

Where do you go from here? Realize that your spouse is a wounded vessel. Accept the fact that you’ve done most of that wounding. Sincerely asking God and your mate to forgive you will erase the blackboards of Heaven. Your spouse’s wounds will take time to heal, but once forgiven by God, He will guide you.

What if you hurt too much right now to accept responsibility for what has happened? That’s all right for now. The Christian life, as well as marriage restoration, is a daily walk. What’s important is that you take even steps in the right direction every day toward healing and accepting responsibility.

In my marriage, I can compare that concept to dieting. After all, I’m an expert on that subject. Not an expert by success, but an expert by experience. I’ve started diets that last until the first afternoon. One cookie is followed by a handful. Soon I’m saying, “What’s the use?” and there goes the diet as well as the rest of the bag of cookies.

A few days ago, my neurologist sent me a copy of his office notes for an insurance form. I had never read it before in a physician’s note, but he had included the term “death” in his dictation. My problems, if ignored, might result in my death.

The Great Physician, our Lord God, has already dictated His notes on both our marriages. That same distressing word is used for both of us. Our former ways in marriage, left unchecked, could result in the death of each of our marriages.

I’m not dropping five pounds each day, but rather making healthy eating a lifestyle. Losing weight is a natural reaction to sensible eating.

If you blunder in your marriage today, ask God to help you. Make the wrongs right and go on with your new healthy lifestyle of marriage. The weight of a bad marriage will soon start falling off.

Your mate might have received help and support during his or her stand from a marriage ministry group or from their material. Encourage them to continue to seek personal support.

I did not come home perfected; the Lord had more work yet to do in my life. Honestly, He still has much to accomplish in me, but we’re making progress each day. My wife needed all the support and prayers she could receive. After all, she was attempting to love me at a time when I wasn’t very lovable. Encouraging the one you love to attend Bible study, and listen to teachings as well as reading marriage books is important.

In South Florida, the landscapers use several boards to hold up a newly planted palm tree until it takes root and can support itself. Your fractured marriage may be existing without any roots right now. Both you and your mate will be helped right now if each of you takes advantage of every opportunity for a board of biblical truth to help shore up your marriage. There will be a day when you’re rooted and the boards come down. That’s the day you can offer those same boards to another couple in trouble.

Friend, God has blessed you and me with a standing spouse. Remember to thank Him and your mate often. To God be the glory for what He has done.

God bless,


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Get Charlyne’s Free Teaching:

The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.