Restored and Redeemed

Has your marriage been restored? Restored & Redeemed is a devotional for those in a restored marriage.

Never Give Up

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.  Romans 12:9-10

If you have heard my mom, Charlyne, speak, you have probably heard her say, “Once a stander, always a stander.”

That phrase was born on July 8, 1987, one day after she and my dad remarried following a divorce. She had prayed for over two years that their marriage would be restored. She woke up on July 8 praising God for the miracle He delivered. However, she knew that the work was beginning.

Many couples find themselves in a separation or divorce because one person (or both) gave up. They decided the situation was hopeless, or they were focused on outside influences that were causing a distraction.

Praise God, your marriage has been restored! But do not take a deep breath and think the enemy is not out to cause problems again. Following restoration, my mom knew that she would have to battle the enemy more than ever for her marriage.

She had seen the damage that had been done in their time apart. She knew the deception and defeat the enemy is guilty of creating. My parents were determined to never give up on their marriage, but more importantly, never give up on God’s power!

“I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27 

Do not think that you do not need to continue praying for your spouse and marriage just because you have reached restoration.

Here are some of the areas where my parents shifted their focus after restoration:

Prayer –

They made praying together a priority. It is hard to argue with someone when you pray for and with them. They did not always get this perfect after their restoration, but it was an area where they pursued perfection.

Communication

Slamming doors and yelling had become the norm before their divorce. Communication was often handled when one person was screaming as the other left the room. After their restoration, they had to learn new ways to communicate and manage conflict.

Before it was necessary, they had to decide how they would behave when difficult conversations arose. Do not wait until you are in the heat of the moment to determine the best course of action. Make a plan now. It is often said that the best offense is defense, which is true in this situation.

Does one spouse need a few minutes alone to compose their thoughts before having an in-depth discussion? Then, agree that you will postpone all talks for ten minutes, so nothing is said in anger.

Divorce is not an option –

After restoration, one of the most significant changes was that my mom and my dad knew they did not have an out in this marriage. Divorce was not an option. They knew they had made a covenant that they had tried to break once, and they both entered restoration with an understanding of what the Bible says about marriage. They had to agree that no matter what they would face in the future, they would never give up.

That declaration changed how they handled problems. It changed how they treated disagreements. My dad moved out eighteen times in their first nineteen years of marriage. From their first year of marriage, he would pack a bag and leave anytime there was conflict.

Going forward, they had to work together to find healthy ways to handle conflict that did not involve packing a suitcase. It worked! Did they get it right every time? No. They were still two fallen sinners attempting to rebuild a marriage as if it was new. This time, they were making Christ the foundation of that marriage.

Restoration is not an easy process. It takes a lot of grace, mercy, and forgiveness – the very things that Jesus offers to us.

Whether you are two days into your marriage restoration or two years, vow today to your spouse and your Heavenly Father that you will never give up!

God bless,

 

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Get Charlyne’s Free Teaching:

The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.