Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
If we were to compile the words most often expressed by spouses living physically or emotionally away from their families, “No one understands” would probably rank near the top. From experience, I can say that I do understand.
After 19 years of marriage, my wife and I divorced. The reason? We had allowed Satan to come into our home. Although we were a Christian family and active in our church, we had separated many times. Our house had become a battleground, being watched by our three children. Through the years, I had been verbally and physically abusive, as well as unfaithful.
After each incident, we would put a band-aid on the situation without trying to solve the problem. Before long, we would have another problem. Divorce seemed like the only answer. Everyone around us was giving that advice with comments like, “The children will be better off” or, “You will both be happier.”
A few months after our divorce was final, my wife, Charlyne, was directed by God to fight a spiritual battle for our failed marriage after hearing another couple’s restoration testimony. At the time, I appeared happy on the surface. I was living a single lifestyle and was even in church most weeks, but I lived a life of sin.
The divorce court had given me permission for what I was doing, but deep inside, something just wasn’t right. Do you ever have passing moments where you wonder how your marriage ended up in this place? Do you have waves of guilt that you try to justify away?
I know how you feel. I know how it feels to have dug a hole so deep that there seems to be no way out. I also know how it feels when God hands you a shovel and offers His hand to get you out of that mess. My friend, my prayer for you today is that you might stop looking around at the circumstances and look upward to your Heavenly Father, the one who heals families.
My dad wrote the words above. A man who truly understood what it felt like to destroy his family and then later understood what it felt like to repent turn from his sin.
When your marriage faces a crisis, it can feel hopeless. I want you to know that there is hope. The same God who raised Jesus from the dead, spit the Red Sea, and performed countless miracles wants to do a miracle in your family.
There is hope!
If you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances, reach out to your Heavenly Father. He wants to guide you and help you understand how to change your marriage through His power.
Don’t feel like your situation is hopeless. Don’t let the enemy convince you your marriage is dead.
Will you take that first step today? Get honest with yourself about the state of your marriage. Ask the Lord to show you the ways you may be failing as a spouse. Take the things the Lord has shown you, and get honest with your spouse. Are there things you need to confess?
It’s time to start digging your way out of that hole through the power of Jesus.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4
Please reach out to us directly for prayer or resources if you are going to take the first step toward healing in your marriage. We would love to help you on this journey.