“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
I searched the internet for the term “open door policy.” In seconds, I got 3.4 million matches. I spent the next half hour reading about how an “open door policy” is in effect today for everything from immigration issues to teen dating and even parents visiting a daycare center.
The short definition of an open-door policy is “allowing equal opportunities and access.” Do you realize that prodigal spouses can go almost anywhere they want, thanks to open-door policies? Yet, for many, the home they left has a closed-door policy to their return. Well-intended spouses are standing for marriage restoration, yet they have stipulations in place before their prodigal’s return.
Suppose you heard a knock on the door and found your prodigal standing there, luggage in hand. How would you respond? The textbook answer might be, “I would welcome them in with rejoicing!”
Let’s be honest with each other. Would you have an “Open Door Policy” or a “Twenty Question Policy” in place? Would you have to know why they came home, what they had been up to, and what happened to the other person? Would you be demanding they not come home until they are right with God? Would your beloved hear a list of ground rules before they even stepped across the threshold?
When sinners come to Christ, what is demanded of them to receive the gift of eternal life? It is as simple as ABC: Acknowledge Jesus is Lord. Believe He can forgive sin. Confess sins. In His earthly ministry, Jesus did not tell sinners, “Go clean up your act, and then you can come to me.”
Praise God, He accepts us just as we are. Yes, the Lord expects change to lie ahead, but the homecoming to Him is unconditional.
If you have someone who, in their attempts to be helpful, is filling you with thoughts of what your prodigal must do before they come home, ask them to point out in Scripture where Jesus demands people to change before coming to Him. There are none. It is often easier for a prodigal spouse to get into heaven than back into their own home.
Prodigal spouses are testing the waters of going home all the time. You may have heard statements that began with “If I ever came home…” or “Someday, if by a miracle, I should come home…” Prodigals test the waters with the questions they ask their children. They test the water by what they do for their standing spouse. Are you announcing an open-door policy right then, or are you giving stipulations? What are your children overhearing you tell friends?
Does your prodigal spouse know they are welcome home right now in any condition and under any circumstances? It does not matter if your mate left yesterday or ten years ago; the one you love must know they will always have a place to call home.
As a returned prodigal, I can assure you there is no feeling like waking up, day after day, and being hit with the reality of the consequences of what we have done to a family. Knowing we are welcomed back at home is the antidote to that ever-consuming poison. It may take months or years of that daily shock, followed by the daily antidote of the unconditional love of our spouse and the wooing of the Holy Spirit, but there will come a day when the prodigal will “come to their senses” and say, “What’s the use? I would be better off at home.” (Hosea 2:6-7) That is when prodigals come home.
During my Internet search, I also discovered reports of organizations promoting their open-door policy but then acting otherwise. If you have an open-door policy anticipating a prodigal’s return, be careful to mean what you say. We desire to instruct you in God’s ways of not only welcoming your mate home but keeping them there. That means standing for life regardless of the condition of your marriage.
How have Charlyne and I made it years after restoration? It is not because I am a perfect husband (although I am now a faithful husband). It is because Charlyne has never stopped praying or standing for our marriage. The open-door policy that was in effect at our home on July 7, 1987, has stayed the same.
Marriages are restored because of Jesus!
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” Revelation 3:20-22
Because He lives,
I would welcome my husband in with rejoicing!
My heart leaps at the image of him walking in with his guitar and bags.
Hallelujah!
Waiting 5 years. What do you think I would do?
Complete no contact for all those years. When Lord?
🙏
Been reading this devotional from
Bob every time it comes around over the last 14 years. Thank you for continuing to post it. Just had a conversation with the Lord yesterday saying “when he comes back again, I want to tell him to go to our pastor first because I can’t take another false start cycle”