If your marriage is on the way to being restored, you may wonder why I even bring up another person with whom your spouse might have been involved. After all, you two are back together again. You, not that other person, have found favor in your mate’s eyes.
A question often asked of us deals with how we handled what had happened. How did we handle all that Bob had done? The solution is simple but one that Satan hates. Forgive your spouse and love them unconditionally. Hosea’s wife had been unfaithful, but let’s read what the Lord said to Hosea.
“Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” Hosea 3:1
God told Hosea to show Gomer a forgiving spirit and love her. God will do the rest for you daily. Lay your spouse at the cross every day, trusting your Lord. LET GO AND LET GOD. Handle the past and the present by rebuilding your marriage one brick at a time. Even greater, give praise to God for the miracle of restoration that He has given your family.
My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion. Psalm 71:24
If your spouse was involved with another person, two people have come home to you. Yes, that other person is right there with you. Not in the physical, but very much in your mate’s thought process. It may not seem fair. It may not be right, but it is true. You will be called to deal with that other person and your mate in the future.
You deal with them both in the same way – in the prayer closet. Demanding that your returned prodigal never make any reference nor think about the other person is inviting problems, as well as being unrealistic. We both know you’ve had enough problems without opening another door for Satan to attack. Your spouse needs to learn how to fight the enemy, but for now, you may have to do that for them. You need to wait for the Lord to teach your spouse how to fight and win spiritual battles. In the meantime, you need to fight against the enemy in that area where he is most likely to attack your spouse; in the thought process.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
I know how much it hurts to have that other person come into the thoughts of your returned spouse. After Bob returned, I thought that he must be comparing me to her in everything (and I mean everything) I did. I wondered how my cooking compared. I wondered how my housekeeping compared. I even wondered how our intimacy compared.
If your spouse was involved with someone else, they were involved in sin, which is pleasurable for a season. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. Proverbs 4:19 Don’t beat yourself up by comparing your godly lifestyle with sin.
How can you possibly deal with the other person? In the prayer closet. We occasionally hear of a second person’s marriage also being restored as a prodigal spouse leaves them to return home. That process, and prayer may cause that other person to come to their senses and to return home after they are left alone.
Your spouse will be helped in getting over the other person as you pray for that person. Pray for their salvation and for their marriage. Pray for that person’s children, if any. Pray against that person becoming involved in another ungodly relationship.
Change happens in your prayer closet.