As the mother of four kids, I think a lot about purity. However, I have realized that while my husband and I have done a good job of conveying the message to our kids that they should remain virgins until they are married, we have to constantly remind them that they can arrive at that goal and still give up their purity. Our goal has now shifted to not only remind them of the need to keep their virginity for their future spouse, but to remain pure in that process.
When you got married, you probably felt a sense of relief. Phew! No more dating game. No more temptations. Now that you are standing and praying for marriage restoration you may realize that you are back in an area where purity matters.
God created sex. Genesis 2:24 says, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis goes on to say,The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25
Within the context of marriage, there should be no shame in intimacy. In Corinthians, Paul tells the church of Corinth that the husband and wife have an obligation to fulfill their marital duty to each other.
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
You may find yourself separated or divorced from your spouse and praying for restoration. So, what should your life look like in this area? Let me begin by saying this ministry understands how physically difficult it is to be without your spouse.
Many of you are young and have only been married a few years. Others were beginning their empty-nest when a spouse decided the time was right to leave. Regardless of where you are in life, you are all in the same place now — alone and praying for God’s will to be done in your marriage.
In this season of life, may I challenge you to stay pure. I am not talking about purity with your spouse, which is a different topic that my parents covered in detail on the teaching, Sex and the Stander.
The purity I am challenging you to attain is to protect your body, mind and heart from all that the world would want to offer you right now. Don’t listen to the lie of the enemy that a simple dinner out with a co-worker of the opposite sex will not lead to something more than you want. If you are standing and praying for restoration, how can you get involved with another person who is not your spouse? Some of you are surprised that people do that, but it happens. You get lonely and need “companionship.”
The next thing we are hearing from standers is that they now find themselves in a relationship with a person who is not their spouse. We want to say with flashing lights: Watch out! Beware! Recognize this relationship as a trick from the enemy. (1 Peter 5:8)
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
While you are in this season of life, keep yourself pure. That means that your entertainment needs to be pure. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are viewing unwholesome shows or movies that will give you thoughts about the physical needs you have that are not being met. Keep yourself pure in your social life.
I don’t care what stage of marriage difficulty you are in — if you are praying for restoration you should behave as if you are married! Let me say that again — behave as if you are married. As a married woman, I don’t allow myself to be alone with another man. I don’t ride in cars alone with other men, I don’t allow myself to confide in another man. If I have to have an email dialogue with a man, I will often copy my husband on the messages so he is aware of the exchange. Do I do that because my husband doesn’t trust me? No, I do it because the enemy would love nothing more than to cause destruction in my marriage.
If you are praying for restoration, what easier thing to cause that goal to derail you, the stander, than entering into a relationship with a person who is not your spouse. I understand the loneliness you feel. Let me tell you that the Lord will honor your obedience. He will give you the strength to withstand the temptations you are feeling.
Today, I challenge you to recommit your marriage to the Lord. Ask Him to help you remain pure in body, soul and mind as you wait for the restoration. Ask the Lord if there are areas in your life where you are not being pure. You can start new today. That may mean you have a relationship you need to end. It may mean your social life needs to be adjusted. It may mean you need to get your wedding ring out and put it on.
I can promise you when your marriage is restored, the fact you kept yourself pure while you were in this season will be something that your spouse values.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:17-18