Mark 10 Nine

Are you happily married and looking for tips on maintaining a God-honoring marriage? This weekly devotional will give you encouragement for your marriage.

Stop Assuming the Worst in Your Spouse

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.  Colossians 4:6

My husband and daughter walked out the door. I thought I heard my husband mutter something under his breath as he left the house. I immediately assumed he was saying something sarcastic. I sat there for a minute, getting upset and wondering why he didn’t talk directly to me. Then, I couldn’t figure out what he would have been saying. But let me assure you, I was confident it was a snarky comment.

I set my self-righteousness aside long enough to text him, find out what I did wrong, and inquire about what he said. He immediately called me and was extremely confused. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

I started to defend myself, saying, “I heard what you said….”

He immediately laughed and corrected my thinking. “Babe, I was talking to Ashley on the way out the door about where the car was parked. I don’t know what you thought you heard, but that wasn’t the conversation at all.”

Oopsie! I shrunk down in my seat and wished my hubby a good day.

That little dialogue made me realize how often we jump to conclusions and can even assume the worst in people, especially our spouses.

When we feel like we have been wronged, we have choices. We can allow our emotions to take over and let the anger, disappointment, and rage grow. Or we can address the situation and clarify our thoughts and the other person’s intentions. I could have ruined both of our days by giving my husband the cold treatment in response to his alleged comment.

If your marriage will work, you must assume the best in your spouse. Don’t think every comment, glance, or action is an attempt to cause you hurt.

How would you have reacted if you were in my situation? Would you have tried to catch your spouse in the front yard and clarify what was said or given them the silent treatment the rest of the day? What an easy time to climb up on our high horse (am I aging myself with that example?) and feel justified in acting like a fool.

You must have good communication in your marriage. That means we must do our part in giving and receiving that communication. Gulp! I often like to give my words freely, but hearing from my hubby isn’t always easy. I can find myself getting defensive on certain topics.

Before you let a misunderstanding cause a division in your marriage, take the time to understand your spouse’s intentions. Be willing to do your part to de-escalate a situation. When I told my hubby what I thought was happening, he laughed. What I felt was a big deal was actually nothing at all.

Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.  Proverbs 13:10

Let’s commit to being partners who look for the best in our spouse. They are not the enemy, so we don’t need to gather ammunition for a fight. Instead, we can use our words to show grace and mercy to that special person, always seeking to understand them. 

God bless,


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