Mark 10 Nine

Are you happily married and looking for tips on maintaining a God-honoring marriage? This weekly devotional will give you encouragement for your marriage.

Stop Assuming the Worst in Your Spouse

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6

My husband and daughter walked out the door, headed to school and work. I thought I heard my husband mutter something under his breath as he left the house. I assumed he was saying something sarcastic.  I sat there for a minute, starting to get upset and wondering why he didn’t just talk directly to me. Then, I couldn’t figure out what he would have been saying. But let me assure you, I was confident it was a comment that was unnecessary.

I set my self-righteousness aside long enough to text him, find out what I did wrong, and inquire about what he said. He immediately called me back and was extremely confused. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

I started to defend myself, saying, “I heard what you said….”

He immediately laughed and corrected my thinking. “Babe, I was talking to Ashley on the way out the door about where the car was parked. I don’t know what you thought you heard, but that wasn’t the conversation at all.”

Oopsie! I shrunk down in my seat and wished my hubby a good day.

The little dialogue on the way out to work made me realize how often we jump to conclusions and can even assume the worst in people, especially our spouses.

We have choices when we feel like we have been wronged. We can allow our emotions to take over and let the anger, disappointment, and rage grow. Or we can address the situation and clarify our thoughts as well as the other person’s intentions. I could have ruined both of our days by giving Scott the cold treatment in response to his alleged comment.

If your marriage is going to work, you will have to assume the best in your spouse. Don’t think every comment, look, or action is an attempt to cause you hurt.

How would you have reacted if you were in my situation? Would you have tried to catch your spouse in the front yard and clarify what was said or given the silent treatment the rest of the day? What an easy time to climb up on our high-horse (am I aging myself with that example?) and feel justified at acting like a fool.

You must have good communication in your marriage. That means we have to do our part in giving and receiving that communication. Gulp! I often like to give my words freely, but hearing from my hubby isn’t always easy. I can find myself getting defensive on certain topics.

Before you let a misunderstanding cause a division in your marriage, take the time to understand your spouse’s intentions. Be willing to do your part to de-escalate a situation. When I told my hubby what I thought was happening, he laughed. What I thought was a big deal was actually nothing at all.

Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. Proverbs 13:10

Let’s commit to being partners that look for the best in our spouse. They are not the enemy, so we don’t need to gather ammunition for a fight. Instead, we can use our words to show grace and mercy to that special person, always seeking to understand them.  

God bless,

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