I feel like my parents when I say, “I can’t believe how fast life is going.” It feels like my husband and I just had babies running around; now we have kids talking about starting their own marriages and futures.
Our marriage has always been good, but as we face each day, I think it is important for us to look for ways to take our marriages from good to great!
The enemy would love to destroy the family—especially Christian families. If the divorce rate in the church resembles the divorce rate outside of the church, we have a problem. Great marriages don’t just happen. It takes work. It takes two people who are striving towards the same goal. Some days, you may be the one carrying the weight of the relationship, and other days, it may be your spouse, and then there will be those great days when you are both heading in the same direction!
Here are some tips for having a great marriage.
- Offer grace – God has extended grace that we don’t deserve. As I cherish that thought, I am reminded that I am responsible for offering grace to others. You can offer grace to your spouse when you show patience, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Jesus has so much patience with me, yet I sometimes fail to show patience to my husband. Do you need to extend forgiveness to your spouse? How can you show your spouse kindness today?
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6
- Gain control over your thoughts – There is a reason the Bible talks about the battle that wages in our minds. Our emotions are a powerful force, but we have to recognize that sometimes we can let them guide us in dangerous ways. Do you find a minor annoyance with your spouse can turn into something huge through your thought pattern? I am ashamed to admit that I have been doing dishes while I let my mind run wild, fixating on some frustration I had with my husband. Before I know it, I have given into full-blown anger. We need to ask the Lord to help us take our thoughts captive, so we don’t fall into the trap of being governed by our emotions.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2
- Nurture your friendship with your spouse – Before you started dating, it is probably fair to say that you and your spouse became friends. Don’t let that friendship slip away because of the business of life. It is vital to make your relationship a priority. Go on dates, laugh together, and find common interests. If it feels like it has been quite a while since you viewed your spouse as a friend, rebuilding that friendship may take some time. Take the first step. Is it hard to laugh together? Find a Christian comedian on YouTube and watch the videos together. Send a text message in the middle of the day with an inside joke. Does your spouse enjoy cooking? Sign up for a couples’ cooking class. Find ways to do things outside of the normal to cultivate that friendship again.
Every marriage can be great if you are willing to put in the work. Pray and ask the Lord to expose areas where you need to change to see your marriage grow.