That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
It is no secret that many couples suffer damage when one spouse is addicted to pornography. But what about the couples who attempt to use pornography to try and “spice up their marriage.” Pornography can have a detrimental impact on your marriage.
It can twist your view of intimacy and reality. Your expectations could begin to change and cause a desire to mimic what you have seen in a film, but that is not an accurate picture of reality. Pornography addiction can create doubt in a spouse, making them feel like they aren’t enough. It breaks down true intimacy the way God intended it to be.
In the United States, a new film called “Sound of Freedom” is gaining popularity. This film is the true-life story of Tim Ballard, a former U.S. Department of Homeland Security agent who left his job in an attempt to rescue children around the world who were victims of modern-day slavery – human trafficking.
When I saw this movie, I immediately thought of the Fight for Your Marriage podcast episode we did with Joshua Broome. He shared about his conversion to Christ after his time in the adult film industry. It is not uncommon for people to be in these films who are underage. When a person participates in the viewing of these harmful materials, you are perpetuating the slavery crisis.
Genuine intimacy in marriage is about serving one another. Pornography twists that into a selfish act that becomes all about me. Pornography can be violent and depict images that you will find hard to erase from your brain. Fight the New Drug states that “According to a study that analyzed porn titles alone, 1 out of every 8 titles suggested to first-time users on porn sites described acts of sexual violence.1”
Why would you want that violence to be part of your marriage?
God created intimacy, and allowing pornography to have any part in it, will not bring greater pleasure but instead will cause significant pain and hardship in your relationship.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4
If you have been dishonest about using pornography in the past, this is the time to share that secret with your spouse. Ask your one-flesh mate to partner with you in overcoming this addiction.
Don’t minimize its effects on your brain and your relationship. If you have viewed porn even once, you have not honored your marriage. Own that. Don’t believe the lie that infrequent viewing is not an addiction. Bring your sin to light and allow Jesus Christ to restore this area of your life.
But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:13-14
1 Vera-Gray, F., McGlynn, C., Kureshi, I., & Butterby, K. (2021). Sexual violence as a sexual script in mainstream online pornography. The British Journal of Criminology, azab035. doi:10.1093/bjc/azab035Copy.
God bless,
