Charlyne Cares

Are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? A daily devotional that will offer encouragement from God’s Word as you stand for the restoration of your marriage.

They Won’t Understand

Each week we share guest devotionals. The views expressed below are those of the writer and may not reflect the views of Rejoice Marriage Ministries or the Steinkamps.

Has the Lord placed a devotional on your heart that you would like to share with other standers?

You don’t have to search hard to find someone writing or speaking their opinion regarding a spouse who is not living up to some form of marital standards.

    • You deserve better!
    • You’re a good person, why are you enduring this?
    • God has someone better for you.
    • You are not a doormat, sweetie.

When we standers may have told others our painful stories out of a need to vent, get understanding, or find someone who can help us, we realize their responses point to holding the lost spouse as 100% culpable and not considering the spiritual issues that are at hand. This mindset, although usually meant in love, is in conflict with what God has called us to in standing for marriage restoration…. His way.

To give a little background, I have been praying, fasting, learning, co-laboring, and waiting on the Lord to restore my marriage for a couple of decades! Like most marriages, there were good times and bad times. Many of us have experienced marriage situations that would break even the hardest of hearts, enduring manipulation, deception, addictions, infidelity with multiple partners, abandonment, and even various abuses, amongst others. When we share our stories, true believers and those still in spiritual infancy are all taken aback! Now, we’re not innocent as we have our share of sins that may have hurt our spouse.

I say all of that to give ground to understanding what God has taught me in this season. This may be helpful for those whose spouses struggle with deep, complex traumas, mental health, and addictions that have given a foothold to the enemy. And, of course, those who have been on a long-term standing journey.

2 Timothy 2:3-7 says:

Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer. Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown except by competing according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this

Paul is addressing a fellow missionary as he writes this, reminding not just him but ALL of us throughout time that we are enduring suffering not for ourselves, not for our children or family members, not for social media, but for Christ our Lord! Athletes work hard for the greater good – the franchise or school, the team, their coaches and past trainers, associated families and fans, and themselves. We are not trying to please people, avoid embarrassment of a loss, or help family members feel better by separating or divorcing outside of God’s will for your marriage.

God does not like divorce, but I have seen God allow it in order to bring both spouses into their personal restorations back to God. God only allowed for my marriage to go to just up to the first proceedings. Dvorce is a documented judgement on earth, as most know it, but marriage was made in Heaven, not in court. Your covenant spouse was chosen not from your own desires but God’s FINAL judgement. The “mess” that is occurring is due to a lack of mature spiritual connection to Jesus Christ, lack of healing, and an understanding of who they are in Christ (identity).

Paul goes on to write in a critical verse that the Holy Spirit highlighted for me. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory. 2 Timothy 2:10 

I want to emphasize EVERYTHING. God wants us to live in peace, and there are certain situations that God may allow for separation or divorce. Keep yourself safe, fasting and praying, AND co-laboring with God to take whatever necessary steps in your stand to grow – but “take your hands off the wheel,” as God has spoken to me in dreams and visions. Let God lead.

God led me out of the home several years ago but brought me back a few years ago with more knowledge and heightened spiritual giftings. My husband and I are together, and things are a lot better. However, he is still doing things that displease God and break my heart. In the process of reconciliation, I am excitedly waiting for his salvation and restoration to Jesus Christ!

With the help of the Holy Spirit, find a small circle of support (Proverbs 15:22) within the standing community, including Rejoice Marriage Ministries, friends or family, and licensed counselors, like me who understand this journey. And endure. The goal? To bring salvation and eternal glory to your God-chosen spouse in Christ Jesus and to receive the Crown of Life. Amen.

God bless,

Regina in Texas

Rejoice Marriage Ministries

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1 month ago

Regina, You might have helped to clear things up a little bit that could have had me confused in my own understanding as to why I was called to stand for marriage restoration.

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The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.