Mark 10 Nine

Are you happily married and looking for tips on maintaining a God-honoring marriage? This weekly devotional will give you encouragement for your marriage.

Uncovering the Truth: A Closer Look at the Reality of Your Marriage

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16

I used an Amazon gift card a friend gave me to buy a make-up mirror I had saved in my cart for months. My mirror arrived, and I could hardly wait for my husband to hang it on the wall so I could start using it. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the mirror light, flipping it over to the magnification side to start my mirror journey. Mistakes were made.

I became aware of things happening on my face that I never knew about. I immediately asked my family questions like, “Did nobody see that random hair?” and “Why didn’t anyone tell me I should look into Botox?” It wasn’t long before I was reevaluating my purchasing choice with some regret.

While we have had some laughs about the magnifying power of this mirror, it made me think about something. How often do we exist in our marriages day after day and never stop to pause and look closely at the status of our relationship?

We coexist, often surviving carpools, family dinners, and busy work weeks only to arrive at the weekend and notice we never really had any meaningful moments of connection with our spouse. We have to be intentional about our marriages.

It is necessary to peel back the layers and look at the core of our relationship. It may be painful for a moment, but the purpose is beneficial. It allows us to face the truth of our relationship, and it allows us to deal with reality.

When we slow down to examine, we may find scars of unforgiveness, wounds caused by our harsh words, and blemishes that developed slowly over the years because of bitterness.

How do we do a close evaluation of our marriage? 

It starts with a conversation. You and your spouse need to take time to sit together and ask hard questions. Being vulnerable enough to give honest answers is even more difficult than asking a hard question. And some may find that hearing those truthful answers is the hardest part.

How can we ever make changes unless we know what we are looking at? As a couple, you can decide how often to do this exercise. You may be the one who constantly brings up practices like this. Keep pushing for relational excellence. Keep pursuing Christ in your marriage. You can come up with your own questions, but here are a few to start the conversation.

  1. What do you feel is our biggest strength as a couple?
  2. What do you think is our biggest weakness as a couple?
  3. Is there any unconfessed sin in your life that we need to discuss?
  4. What are some ways we could be more intentional with our finances?
  5. Is there any area of our relationship where we need forgiveness and healing?
  6. How can I pray for you?

What do we do with what we have seen?  

I had a choice when I walked away from my new make-up mirror. I could ignore what I saw, or I could do something about it. Wrinkle cream…added to cart.

When you peel back the layers and look at the reality of your relationship, what will you do about what you see? How do you move forward after hearing the discussion and build a stronger marriage built on Jesus Christ? Don’t waste what the Lord has shown through this discussion.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.  James 1:22-25 

You have a choice every day. Are you going to choose your marriage? Will you choose to make your marriage a priority? Will you choose to do the hard work to have a marriage modeled after Christ? Will you make a million tiny choices each day so you can have a good marriage?

Lord, show us the reality of our marriage. Help us be willing to lay down our pride and have a heart willing to serve our spouse as we show them unconditional love. May our conversations bring you glory as we work on our marriages. Amen.

God bless,


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