Charlyne Cares

Are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? A daily devotional that will offer encouragement from God’s Word as you stand for the restoration of your marriage.

Well, Did You…?

Charlyne and I are burdened for the victims of today’s most prevalent form of child abuse: divorce. Boys and girls who have had a parent walk out to pursue selfish interests are a concern to us. Today, I am writing to the adolescent sons of standers. 

There is a message I feel God has for me to share with you, but it is hard to do because it means I have to tell you more about my past than I want to disclose. This may also be difficult for you to read, but let’s both give it a try. Your father may be unable to talk to you due to not living at home and the marriage problems of your parents, or your father may be the one standing and praying with God for the return of your mother. I want to give you some encouragement that my dad could not share with me when I was a kid.

When I was about ten years old, my buddy and I explored a wooded area used as a dump in our town. We made a discovery one afternoon that changed my life, but not for the better. He and I found a large box of magazines that someone had discarded. For the first time in either of our lives, we saw the female body without clothing. Before we went home that day, we carefully hid our stash. Each afternoon we went back and pulled out the magazines again. Even though that has been many years ago, I can still recall the smell of those rain-soaked books. I can also remember the day we went searching for more. The ones we had found no longer satisfied the lust that had begun to grow inside each of us.

“So, what’s the big deal?” you may be thinking. “There’s a lot worse on the Internet.” Yes, I know, and that is alarming. This message is intended to be more practical than preachy, but you need to realize there is a tremendous battle taking place for your thoughts. The forces of darkness, the devil and his demons, want to bring your thoughts under his control, instead of under God’s pure and holy thoughts.

As I grew up, I began to hear the locker room talk of the older boys. It is probably the same as what you overhear. One guy will be describing his date with some girl. One of the guys in the group always asks, “Well, did you …?” (You can finish the sentence.)

Here I was a teenager with those images from the woods embedded on my brain. Now I knew what was missing. I wanted to be the guy that my buddies would hear describe a date, and then ask me, “Well, did you …?”

During my senior year in high school, I worked nights and weekends for an ambulance service. Sadly, a group of guys in a dormitory, waiting for calls, allowed for a lot of, “Well, did you …?” talk. Only now, the guys were grown and the talk more graphic.

So, here I am, a Christian young man, starting out to find my life’s mate, but I am also wanting to share my experiences in the dorm, and have someone ask, “Well, did you …?” Nowhere in my desires was there room for the self-respect or feelings of the females involved. Nowhere in my desires was there room for what God thought. After all, all the guys were doing it and talking about it.

Not every teenage boy is doing it. Not every man cheats on his wife. You may have had things happen at home that make it look that way, but it is simply not true. For every man who falls, there are thousands who are faithful to their spouse, regardless of the temptation. My wife and I, and your God, desire that you become one of those faithful for Him. Things work out for the best that way.

Last night Charlyne and I were watching television. Something being shown triggered a thought, and from deep within my brain came forth one of those little ditties I learned as a young man. I have a hard time memorizing scripture, but the inappropriate jokes can be recalled in an instant. I went to sleep knowing I had to share with the teenage sons of our readers a word about being careful what they allow to enter their minds at all ages.

“But I have thoughts,” someone is saying. Yes, you do, and God knows those are part of growing up. A minister once said it’s like being the manager of a hotel. You can’t help who walks through the lobby, but you have all the control over who you rent rooms to. Have you been renting rooms to thoughts of, “Well, did you …?”

“Well, did you …?” This time I’ll finish the sentence for you. “Well, did you ask God to guard your thoughts?” “Well, did you promise your heavenly Father that you will be an example for Him, and not watch, listen to, or participate in the vile things of this sinful world?”

My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. Proverbs 4:20-27 

PS – Charlyne and I are also praying for your mom and dad and trusting God to restore your family. We invite you to pray for that also. Since we are having this talk in the absence of your own dad, I want to assure you that you are not weird because of the thoughts you have. Remember the hotel.

Because He lives,

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17 days ago

Thank you for Bob’s perspective. Thank You Jesus that our children will be taught by You and enjoy great peace and prosperity ( Isaiah 54:13)

Pour over me
I’m not in a hurry
I have no agenda but You
I’m only here for You
I long for Your presence
An imprint of Heaven its true
I’m only here for You

Abigail Martinez
Abigail Martinez
17 days ago
Reply to  Lalitha


16 days ago

Heavenly Father, bring this message to those who need it the most – the sons – and the daughters – who are caught in a trap not of their own making. Help them to discover Your goodness and walk in Your ways and Your will. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

16 days ago

My 19yo first born son really needs to hear this right now! Thank you so much! I am forwarding this to him…and will now remind him to “remember the hotel”. ❤️

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The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.