Charlyne Cares

Are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? A daily devotional that will offer encouragement from God’s Word as you stand for the restoration of your marriage.

What Prodigals Want

But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. 1 Peter 2:20-21 

Charlyne has a unique style in her teaching in that she asks questions. The Holy Spirit uses her questions to draw out answers from within the listener. On a recent teaching I edited for her, Charlyne asked 19 questions in four minutes. Somehow, her many questions fit together to create another great teaching style. Nevertheless, I reminded Charlyne that she was asking a lot of questions. “Are you giving answers?” I challenged. Less than twenty-four hours later, I was reading and came across a comment regarding how Jesus often used questions in His teaching. My wife was unknowingly teaching like Jesus.

May I borrow from Charlyne’s style today and ask you a question? What do prodigals want? No, not why do prodigals leave home, because we all know that answer. Husbands and wives walk out on their mates and their children because of attacks from the enemy. Drugs, sex, and alcohol are not “why” prodigals leave but “how” they leave. You and I both know how temporal those pleasures can be and so does every prodigal spouse. We make that discovery the hard way: by experience, often at the cost of family, career, health, and happiness.

What do prodigals want? More specifically, what does your prodigal spouse want from you? It can be summed up in one word: consistency. As a stander, are you living a consistent life before the Lord and your prodigal spouse? What is consistency? The dictionary says, “Firm coherence in applying principles or policy.” Consistency, in simpler words, means doing the same things in the same and predictable way.

As we were putting a Saturday Testimonies together, one sentence from one email stood out. A stander told her of good contacts with her husband and then added, “He said he was proud of the way that I was seeking good employment and getting my life together.”

May I use Charlyne as an illustration? Before we were remarried, I made deliberate attempts to “push her buttons.” Someone recently asked what that phrase means. In short, I was throwing tests at my wife in an effort to get her to react unpredictably. Had she done so, I could have shouted, “I told you! You are the same old Charlyne, with the same attitude and the same old problems. Nothing has changed. Why would I want to come home to what I left?” I would have had good reason not to do what God told me to do, namely to go home and allow Him to do the rest.

Regardless of what I tested Charlyne with, she responded in the same way: with unconditional love. Despite how I put Charlyne to the test, in my double-minded state, she remained consistent. The situations she faced were not simple, and some involved the other woman. Charlyne never flinched, even though now I know how her heart broke. Finally, as best as a prodigal can, I reasoned that it would not be so bad to remarry her. That is when I surrendered to the wooing of the Holy Spirit.

We have reminded standers of the basics of consistency that their mates are seeking. We have suggested that men get jobs. We have hinted to women they need to get their homes in order. I came home from a pigpen, not to a pigpen. Our children, although wounded, had not been allowed to go wild while Mom was busy praying for marriage restoration.

“I will have time to straighten my life out and become consistent before my spouse comes home.” No, you will not. One prodigal husband unexpectedly flew from several states away to be with his wife for Valentine’s Day – and at the end of the weekend, asked her to marry him again. I suspect he witnessed consistency in her life before asking that question.

“I don’t even know where my prodigal is.” Nevertheless, you need to be consistent. A stander went into her regular service station for gas some time ago. “I saw your husband,” the owner volunteered. “He asked if you still came in.” The absent husband, living far away, somehow came to his hometown and then asked about his standing wife.

I am not suggesting always filling your gas tank at the same station in case your spouse asks about you. But in this information age, where both news and people travel fast, your prodigal does not need to hear about unpaid bills and your lifestyle that is in disarray.

Jesus Christ is our example for consistency. Even when the enemy tempted Him, Jesus did not waiver. He is consistent in opening His nail-pierced hands to all who come to Him in repentance. Jesus is consistent in being the Advocate before our Father God.

Do you get it? The prodigal lifestyle is a study in inconsistency. How often do we prodigals move, change jobs, change “lovers,” and change our minds? The only consistency in the pigpen is inconsistency. When the stench in our pigpen gets overpowering due to our inconsistency, we prodigals start to look for consistency. That is best found in Jesus and in our standing mates. I pray that today you will start the process, be it ever so slow, of developing a consistent life. That is what prodigals want. Remember, your beloved is not listening to how loud you shout about faith and change; the one you love is watching how straight you walk.

I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. John 13:15-17

Because He lives,

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1 month ago

Thank you for Bob’s perspective. Father help us be consistent like Jesus.

I’ll praise in the valley
Praise on the mountain
I’ll praise when I’m sure
Praise when I’m doubting
I’ll praise when outnumbered
Praise when surrounded
‘Cause praise is the water
My enemies drown in

1 month ago

Father, may you enable us in such a way that everyone we meet today sees a little bit of the love of Jesus shining thru us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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The Path To Marriage Restoration​

This teaching is Charlyne’s introduction to “How To Stand & Fight For Your Marriage!” Charlyne’s goal is to teach you, a stander, or someone you know with marriage problems, the path to marriage restoration that she has learned over the past twenty-five years.